It's that time of year

Feel it. Feel it deep http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3354flS1KJs

Cos nothing does it to you like a...

SNACK. PACK.

I've searched and I pretty sure that I'm going to be the first & only person ever to post these lyrics online - if I can remember them all:

Its been a bad day
The worst I've ever had
I got my test back
The mark was really bad

I gave my mate a grape
He ate my whole lunch
My team lost the cricket
Only got to bowl once

Now I'm heading home to something, something something something
Something something something

Danny tastes great!

Well what do you know. Seems that it's not the snack pack song at all, it's the Danny song. Ain't that a B.

Are You Dancin'?

Dance music. Friend or foe? FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND!!! And I don't mean the kind favoured by Westies in their siiiiiiik VN's, or lycra loving super store Supre. I'm talking intelligent, fun, party starting, memory making dance music. Minimal, deep house, tech house, ultimate tech trance, ok I made that last one up, but whatever it I love it all . Not as much as my mate Pete Tong and the weekly radio show on BBC1 - Essential Mix. Running since 1993, the show, features some of the world's best Dj's and producers mixing an exclusive two hour set. This sexy little website has all mixes and track listings since 2007. Sa-weet! My favourite for this year have to be Jesse Rose's set from January. This holds special memory's after seeing him play at Billboards with all my favourite people in the world, losing my marbles on the dance floor, writing Jesse a love letter inviting him to come to Revolver with us (he wisely declined) and ending up drinking coffee in a Turban at 11am. I've played this more times then I can remember and it makes me all warm, fuzzy and boppy . Coco Tong approved.

Download here:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VB5WHBN8

P.s things get especially rad after 30min mark

Also check out Steve Lawler's set, a bit techy, a bit progressive, a bit tribal, a bit awesome! This has me totally pumped to to see him at Playground Weekend 2010.

Download here:

http://depositfiles.com/files/5tigoof7x

So play it loud and dance in your bedroom like the neighbours are watching.

Pi

''It's a matter of practice, whatever the size of the pie,'' he said. ''But there's a lot of thinking involved, too. You've got to work out how to breathe, for instance. I'm not giving too much away, but the basic rule is bite, swallow, bite, swallow and breathe through your nose.''

Barry Rigby - World Pie-Eating Championship contender and all-round smart guy

NOT

Realising you forgot to fake tan your arms the next day

HOT

Upsizing your KCF Ultimate Burger Meal™

Zombie Nation

Do you remember when Michael jackson was black? No neither do I, in fact I believe I was still a stain in my daddy’s jocks, but back in 1983 MJ made what has been called the greatest music video of all Time with the 14 minute film clip for Thriller. Yes, the dodgy 80’s special effects were more credible than a young Michael being on date with women, but the zombie themed dance routine is easily once of the most recognized and copied and COOLEST routines since Kevin bacon ran danced through the empty flour mill.
If you always wanted to get your zombie on and impress friends and family, no need to stop and start the VCR anymore dance cats, Dance Central Sydney’s studio’s in Surry Hills offers an hour and half class to teach you the routine from beginning to end. Werewolf’s need not apply. The class is held monthly and costs $25. Can you really put a price on such a high level skill of awesomeness?

If your more sexy welder, or booty shaking diva, the studio also offers classes in Flashdance (bucket scene optional) and Beyonce’s All the Single ladies – Put a ring on it.
For more info and timetables go to dancecentral.com.au or call 02 9319 2268. Next Thriller class is this Saturday so give the greatest gift this Christmas, 80’s dancing.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me;

12 beers a-drinking

11 smokes a-smoking

10 jobs a-hating

9 parties crashing

8 facebook dumpings

7 flames re-kindling

6 phils a-raging

FIVE (visits to) CHING-A-LINGS

4 scenarios

3 thrown shoes

2 feet in mouth

And a tent tied to a dead tree

Festivus News

St Jeromes Laneway Festival have just announced a second Line-Up, adding to the already mind blowing likes of The XX, Florence and the Machine and Echo and The Bunnymen. Joining these greats will be radicals like Bridezilla, Philedelphia Grand Jury and Jonathan Boulet. If you havent heard of Boulet yes you will soon, the much hyped boy from Sydney's burbs was recently accoladed by Kanye West. Kanye West, people. St Jeromes is on Sunday 31 January Sydney College of the Arts (SCA)

If you love claustrophobia, massive crowds and being pushed around by fat drunken teens, Festival First Night have backed up last years powerhouse Grace Jones/Santigold performance with... Al Green. It's his first ever performance in Australia and after witnessing last years carnage I can promise you I won't be there.You are free to attend, however. It's in Hyde Park on the 9th of January.

Chrome's on it

Yes, it's pronounced Telepathy and yes, that's the kind of try-hard band name wankery I usually can't stand but I'm making an exception with these ladies cos of this amazing steamy fart photo. Actually I really like these gals. Hailing from Brooklyn (where else), Busy Gangnes and Melissa Livaudais are cool as fuck, and have gone from strength to strength since the release of their smashing debut album Dance Mother.

Their music has been described as 'a kaleidoscopic blend of perfectly-synchronised vocals, haunting synths and unusual melodies set against a suitably dark backdrop of skipping dubstep beats' I don't know about all that, but it is cool, catchy dark, and interesting. I find some of it a tad grating at times but overall I think it's a good candidate for your Christmas list. But the album OR catch the gals is Aus at the Pyramid Rock or Peats Ridge Festivals.

N.B Julian Casablancas invited them to tour. Nuff said.

Erection problems?

Sure have.

You can recreate this faux-Glastonbury effect yourself this Christmas by using this easy to follow recipe:

• 2 tents
• no tent poles
• 400 beers
• phil

Voila!

Cyber Chic

Blogging about blogging? Mind blowing I know! If you haven’t heard about the hottest blogger this side of Perez’ arse then you don’t spend as much time on the internet as me. Tavi is the 13 year old fashion protégé behind Style Rookie, a fashion blog followed by 4 million people world wide. While most of us were dealing with Libra pads, Jeremy Jordan and hiding Barbie caravan s from your new high school friends, Tavi is self styling photo shots of herself, reviewing S/S 2015 fashion shows of designers you’ve never heard of, or sitting front row at a Marc Jacob Shows. Oh sorry and appearing on multiple covers of some of UK’s hottest magazine’s, including Love and POP. As her popularity and celebrity grows, as do posts about the shows she went to, the designer she meet, the parties she’s been too blah blah. GET ON WITH IT TAVI. More witty observations and weird outfits and less arse kissing. Oh and smiling, someone is due for braces before Junior high starts me thinks... I still love her. She’s funny and does have an eye for style. I recommend starting back at early posts and working your way to current. Is it illegal to have a crush on 13 year old girl? Not if she looks like a 13 year old boy

Weddings, Bar Mitzvahs...

Coco & Maria are now available for your DJ'ing pleasure. Cheap rates, hot dates. Your choice of shoe OR chair throwing action. Call 1800 CAT CHOW, or for a guaranteed reply email nylonriots@gmail.com

YOUR playlist could include the following massive

Hanson - Mmm Bop (Yes, first)
Christopher Cross – Ride Like the wind
N Trance – Set you Free
Phenomal Hand Clap Band – 15 to 20
Hot Chip – Over and over (Diplo Remix)
Al Grenn – Here I am
Atmosphre – Get Fly
Beastie Boys & Q Tip – Get It together
Beck – Loser
Bloc Party - Banquet
Boney M – Raputin
Britney Spears – One More Time
Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince – Boom Shake the Room
Bruce Springsteen – Dancing in the Dark
Dolly Parton – 9 – 5
Marky mark and the funky bunch – Good Vibrations
Dee LIte – Groove is in the heart
Phil Collins – Ssudio
Toto – Africa
Kelis –Trick Me
Boy Noize – Oh!(a-trak remix)
Womakc and Womack – Teardrops
C &C music factory – DO you wanna get funky
Family Ties Theme Song
Jefferson Starship – We Built This City
Notorious BIG – Kick in the Door
Escape Club – Wild Wild West
Bart Simpson – Do The Bartma
Yazz – The Only way is up
Cut Copy – Going Nowhere (digitalism remix)
Daft Punk – Too Long
KLF – 3am entenal
Switch – A bit patchy
Stardust – Music sounds better with you
Ladytron – Seventeen
Little Boots - Stuck on repeat (fake blood remix)
David Bowie – Young Americans
De La Soul – Aint All Good
Dr Dre – Whats the Difference
Steve Nicks – Seventeen
Friendly Fires – In the hospital
Gangstarr – Work
Ghostface Killah – Be Easy
50 cent – PIMP
J5 – Concrete Schoolyard
Pharrell & Snoop – Beautiful
Run DMC – Tricky
Naughty By Nautre – OPP
Dizzee Rascel – Fix Up look sharp
Del the funky homosapian – misterdobilina
Phoenix – Too Young
The Cure – Close to me
Modest Mouse – Float On
Blackstreet – No diggity
Los Campesino –You! Me! Dancing!
Jay Z - - Dirt off your shoulders
Kayne West & Talib Kwali – Get Em High
LCD Soundsystem – Us v Them
MIA – Paper planes
Miike Snow – Black and Blue
Zhane – Hey Mr DJ

Giant furry hermaphro

If you're looking to avoid booze and the outdoors, then you're no friend of Maria and Coco's. But, you will be forgiven if you head to your local cinema to see the much anticipated film adaptation of Maurice Sendak's classic 'Where The Wild Things Are'. With a screenplay by the super cool author Dave Eggers, the legendary Spike Jones directing and a soundtrack by Karen O, this is a movie not to be missed. Without spoiling it too much, i'll divulge that somewhere between the stunning scenery and Jim Hensons spectacular Wild Things, I cried. Be sure to have a giant furry creature to hug afterwards. Giant furry man or woman will also suffice. Amazing.

Shore Is

If you happen to wake up with money this Sunday, you might find yourself wondering what to do. Money to be spent spells one word to me, markets, and Coogee kicked theirs off last Sunday at the Beach Palace Hotel on Dolphin St. You'll find fashion from emerging designers, vintage junk and other bits and pieces of amazingness! I'm truly excited about this, some of us just aren't in the right frame of mind for a Saturday market. Shore break markets, every Sunday 11-5 at 169 Dolphin St Coogee.

The Green Fairy Cometh

Remember Absinth? This highly alcoholic spirit favoured by 19th century Parisian writers and 20th century wildcats is currently banned in the states and most parts of Europe for its reputation as a dangerously addictive psychoactive drug. If you dont remember Absinth (for reasons possibly related) here is your chance to shake hands with the Green Fairy and forget it all over again.

The Absinth Salon has just opened in Surry Hills, serving an array of Absinth priced from $12 to $20 per glass, served from a traditional Absinth water fountain. Buyers beware, the only alcohol served is Absinth, so only the strong survive. They're open Tuesday through Sundays 4-10pm and can be found at 87 Albion St.

Absinth.