Hot Vocab 2010

Word-life

Maria

Can officially add 'hot-shot sex-cat music journo with messy room and hard-hitting deadpan journo face' to her curriculum vitae. I know what Mick Fanning would say.

SEX

Makes me think of join the dots. What. I bought this book for $2 but I would have paid at least $10. Easy. Probably the best thing I've ever seen. So sexy. I've taken the liberty of completing one. You must be 18!

For the record, what IS that one I completed? She is sitting on his back and sexily mouthing his heel. From what I can tell. Maybe I'm dyslexic.

Give the man pie

This poor kid has been posting this ad for months and months now. Someone give him a break

Hot Vocab 2010

Asshat

NOT

People at work that ask you first thing on a Monday how your weekend was. It was great, cheers. You just ruined it. Wait until Wednesday you asshat.

Maria 4 life

What would you rather?

Buy a brand new pink digital camera that is hot hot hot - but it will leave you with about $40 for the weekend and it won't arrive for like, 4 days - OR... er, not buy a camera.

Kaiser Stuhl!

(Is the name of a partuicularly cheap brand of Australian goon, but sounds to me like some kind of German curse word. I imagine it to be equivalent to the French 'Sacrebleu'. Shall continue to use it as such)

<3

http://www.joeisthenewblack.com

My hero

A Darwin man has opened a bag of cheese rings and found only one inside.

Mr Phil Jackson was philosophical, saying the day before he had gone to KFC to get a five-piece wing pack, only to find six pieces inside.

"What you lose on the hurdy-gurdy you pick up on the roundabout," he said.

What does that even mean? How did this make the news? I don't know. But this smack talkin' KFC system beatin' guy sounds like a legend.

Scary? Romantic?

I'll take either. Valentines day is approaching, and what better way to surprise your sweetheart than with heart shaped strawberries! Forced into contortion, these berries spend their youth in a heart shaped plastic container, complete with six ventilation points around the fruit to combat potential problems with fungal disease. Sexy.

The poorly named 'Seduberries' are the brain child of engineering entrepreneur, Josh Engwerda. "I thought I could do something with my strawberries and decided to try to make them into hearts for my girlfriend,"

Warped bionic strawberries aren't particularly my bag, but props to Joshie Baby for engineering his way into his girl's heart almost a month in advance. For shame, you other men you. Get your deformed strawbs here

NOT

Heidi Montag's gross new face and even grosser Dolly Parton-esque cans. She looks about 30 years older. In fact, the name 'Nicolette Sheridan' comes to mind.

HOT

Galaxy inspired prints are IN, and will be coming soon to a winter near you.

This reporter thinks these Ksubi looks could be easily achieved with $20 white jeans, fabric paint and a fabulous sense of style. Watch this space

Uffie of Course

Is dropping a new album on Valentines Day (that's Feb 14th for all you Romeo's out there). It's been four years since Uffie last popped the glock with her grating repetitive electro rap madness, and about 3 years since I pretended I knew her and jumped a fence to party backstage. She was so wasted she 'recognised' me. BFF's 4 life - true story.

'Sex Dreams And Denim Jeans' has production work from Feadz, Sebastian, Mr Oizo and Pharrell Williams, who'll also guest on Uffie's first single from the new disc.

Get ready to... well you know. Uff

I heart 1990

C&M Summer Anthem 2010

Nymphomaniacs, gamblers, gymjunkies, workaholics, gaming addicts, smokers, substance abusers etc etc

Get your 15 minutes here

The Official NME Radar 2010 *new music* Mixtape

Free to DL for a limited time, get it HERE

"One man changed my life.."

http://www.fakekarl.com/

Fence Jumping with Morals

No ticket? No worries. Final call for volunteers for 2010's Big Day Out. Registration closes midnight this Wednesday the 20th so get on your horse! Here's the low down:

The Big Day Out 2010 are looking for Crowd Care volunteers, an experience which many of you enjoyed last year. A Crowd Care volunteer acts as a link between patrons, security, St Johns Ambulance & BDO admin. You will be required to keep a watchful yet unobtrusive eye on the crowd and assessing if any individual patrons require further assistance. Most of your time will be spent handing out programs, giving directions to stages, toilets, free water points, ATM’S etc.

You must:
Be 18 years and over, have First Aid Certificate (not essential but a bonus), be responsible, reliable and honest friendly and approachable. Love of music and festivals A non judgmental approach. Commitment to team work

You'll get:
Necessary training, information and support A Big Day Out 2010 T shirtLight Refreshments

What you're doing this week.

Monday 18th
Monthly Friend (zine/art thing) meets Penguin Plays Rough (poetry/fiction readings). 18th of Jan at 1/475 King St Newtown. Featuring Malcolm Whittaker, Alice Williams, Hossein Ghaemi' Annaliese Constable and Talya Rubin $5 on the door + donation for a fantabulous zine/program. Get along and experience some literary art.

Tuesday 19th
Artist Jesse Willesee will be launching his debut book of poetry, YOU PUT A SHIRT ON A HANGOVER AND CALL IT A DAY, with an exhibition unlike any other - featuring interactive installations over three rooms, performance art and a unique private poetry reading from the artist himself. Russian Coachman Restaurant, 763 Bourke St Surry Hills. $5 entry gets your table a bottle of vino.

Wednesday 20th
The Wall at World Bar features Anthony Bartok, a 26 year old artist living and working in Sydney. Since leaving to National Art School in 2002, Bartok has had several solo shows in Melbourne and Sydney Artist Run Galleries. Music wise The Wall's favorite duo CRUDE & DORKMEISTER (NL) Return to our shores with bags of tunes and sex toys from their stint in Amsterdam. NB - World Bar are also holding a comedy night upstairs called Stand Up Get Down on the same night. Free entry for anyone wearing a toga otherwise it's $10 comedy starts at 8 sharp.

Thursday 21st
Jamaican Me Crazy at Melt - your first chance to get back there in 2010 woo! The Empty Hands Crew invite you to a massive night of Reggae, Dancehall, Dubstep and Caribbean inspired electronic beats. With free entry offered to all early birds ($5 after 10pm) and $5 Vodka and Tap beer from 10-12pm this night has all the right ingredients for good times!

Friday 22nd
Where else would you be but watching Sydney indie darlings Lions at your Door at Wharf Sessions, a new night out at the Sydney Theatre Company. It's FREE. Kicks off at 10pm - but get down early damn you.

Saturday 23rd
LOOKOUT 2010 at the OAF, the Art Factory's showcase of artists they think are going to crack it big in 2010. It's free, and you'll get to see cutting edge dorks like Parades, The Laurels, Cabins, Bearhug, Joysticks, Georgia Fair and Sticky Fingers in a two-room all night party extravaganza. Doors at 8pm

Sunday 24th
You can come to the beach with me & Coco x

More Tobias, Just Because

"I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you
will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. "

"Michael if I may take off my pants and pull my analrapist stocking over my
head, I think George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences
call "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder", or the "The O.C. Disorder". "

"Gob, I would like to be in your trick and there's someone I'd like to put in a plug for. Or... should I say 4,000 plugs?"

'Time for me to take off my receptionist skirt and put on my Barbara Streisand in the Prince Of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit"

"I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh!"

"Or it could be your colon. I’d want to get in there and find some answers."

"Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up"

"Okay, who’d like a banger in the mouth? Oh, right. I forgot. Here in the States, you call it a sausage in the mouth."

"I will pack your mouth with your sweet, pink mouth with so much ice cream, you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block"

Perfumes I would let you buy me

Marc Jacobs - Lola
A true eyesore of a bottle, guarenteed to keep the attention of tripping teenage junkies as above. Musky, light, floral.

Viktor & Rolf - Flowerbomb
I've had my nose on this one for a while now, gorgeous bottle, gorgeous smell. Light, feminine.

Dior - Addict

My flatmate wears this and it makes me want to eat her every morning. Nuff said

Classic crotch

No, not Kanye

Art. Modern art. Yes I know the term evokes thoughts of paper mache shapes dumped in a pile and fingerpainting you could have done better yourself, but modern art is fast on the improve, and a little installation called 'Shoot the Player' is proving, just that.

Shoot the Player is exactly what is sounds like. Masterminds of the project Amelia Tovey and Jonathan Ward set about filming spontaneous, unplugged music videos around Sydney, putting great musicians in iconic locations where you’d never expect them to be.
Each single-shot film is a unique, never-to-be-repeated musical and visual experience. You'll see Bob Evans at Bourke St Bakery, Amanda Palmer in her pyjamas, Kaki King at the War Memorial, Sarah Blasko in a tattoo parlour, and lots more.

Shoot The Player installation is presented by CarriageWorks and will run from the 8th until the 30th of January. For more information check out www.shoottheplayer.com. And did I mention it is FREE? Well it is. Wow!

HOT

Tiger Woods' taste in men

This is the first time gay sex rumours have been linked to Woods, although last month reports claimed Woods told Uchitel he dreamt she was having a threesome with actors Derek Jeter and David Boreanaz.

2009 - Best of

True Blood

Dr Stuart's Tea

Stalking Alexis Taylor through Chinatown

Sunshine's Saturday morning sets at Revs

Sunday's at Bondi Resort

Rosehip Oil

Turbans

Interstate Moves

Country drives with Neil Young

Eating in bed

Deep Fried Lasagne

The arrival of Mrs Mia Wallace

Kitchen dancing at Toorak Rd

The departure of Mrs Mia Wallace

Sky diving

HenKel Champagne

Jesse Rose

Flanelette Shirts

Floating in a tinny with YY in the darkness of night

Miike Snow

Bedroom parties in the X

New Year morning '09 watching the rain fall with Portishead & people I love

Cat Alley

Where the Wild Things Are

Street Fashion Blogs
Darling Point Daaarhling

Listening to In Rainbows in the dark

Hungover coffee's at Grocery Bar

The Book Thief

Jose at the Athenaeum

Weekends In Shoreham

Breakfasts/Lunches/Dinners at Kings Cafe

First track of Zombie Disco Squad mix

Backyard haircuts

Mounted police escorts

Atoms of Love

Black ankle boots

Best Friends

The Hills

The Book Exchange

Northside (Melbourne)

Cheers Darling

Love Magazine

Samson & Deliah

Suicide prompt #43

For so many reasons

All I wanted for Christmas

was this Tobias Funke Sockmonkey. Instead I got AC/DC tickets and an overseas holiday... sigh...

Ooh, I can taste those meaty, leading man parts in my mouth!

Assisted Living

Ok so admit now that you read Perez Hilton everyday just to get it over with.... go. Sweet cheers for that, P-Hizzle has a new project and it's a doozy. I've only watched a trailer so I'm yet to validate it's hilarity, but it seems that the big P man has teamed up with Michael Mouris from Milkfat.com to create an animated series called Assisted Living. And it's all about CELEBRITIES.

Assisted Living is all about the world of celebrities, as seen through the eyes of their assistants. The celebrities look great, and the show doesn't mince words or opinions. Impressions have so far been classic, but then again Wino and Doherty aren't hard to send up. Funny funny.

I cant post a link due to explicit material (even more reason to watch it) but it will be uploaded weekly onto YouTube, so search 'Assisted Living'. First ep out NOW!

Days Like This. or These? Not wait This. These. This

This Sunday see's the Days Like Festival happening at Moore Park again in what is sure to be the festival of Summer. With a totally bangin line up including The Nextmen, Dj Marky, Roots Manuva, Mayer Hawthorne, Method man & Redman, plus loads of local dj's. This Hip Hop flavoured party is going to go off. So if you like your festivals chilled, sunny and lacking in shirtless men then this is for you. Although after a few overpriced Barcadi's I can't promise my shirt will stay on. Cat Power WOOOOO!! For full line up, tickets and set times check out the website http://www.dayslikethis.com.au/ I'll see you on the d-floor

There's a bird on your head!

Quote of the day

"Not every gay man smells of cheese."

- Anon