Aesop stinks. We agree to disagree on this one Coco bird

Aesop Rocks

Sorry for the false advertising, I'm talking skincare, not hop hop FOOOL, although I do love hip hop.. I'm talking Aesop as in the Australian owned and made skincare label that makes the beautiful all nautral products for your skin, hair and soul. I'm not sure whether its on purpose or just a damn shame, but I feel like Aesop doesn't get enough press or props as everything they make is totally magical and once you use you'll never go back to the $10 drying Nivea crap you normally use. My all time favourite is Parsley Seed Face Mask which will make you look like a poor man's mime but will leave your skin baby arse smooth and the tube will last nearly a year even if used twice a week.

I went to my local Aesop to buy a new cleanser as I'm sick of drying cheap mass produce crap and was gently conned into buy the latest, and most expensive Parlsey Seed Cleansing Facial Oil. Slightly unsure ast oil only belongs in a deep fryer or on my scalp, and at $55 a pop not the cheapest risk to take but I am totally converted. You wet your hands slightly, use a few drops of the oil and it will turn into a slightly creamy lotion that cleans better then anything else I've used, and leaves your skin smooth and soft. Mmm.

At either a Aesop store, or in a department store, you'll receive down to earth, friendly service and loads of samples that will have you coming back.

http://aesop.net.au

Its Gettin Hot In Here..

ok so yes i caught on fire, if you haven't already heard I'm not re-telling. You should already know by now. The latest more exciting news is that yesterday I graduated from Burns Unit and despite the raw black patches of skin hanging off the left side of my body, I am in fact healed and never have to go back to that godforsaken hell hole again. So, on this special and momentous occasion I thought it appropriate to thank a few people who have been along for the ride.

Firstly I'd like to thank Parker for having me as a guest in her home and allowing me to drink champagne in the shower in front of her friends, to the lesbian ambo that laughed at all my jokes and let me keep my underwear off... hmmm, to the kind folks at St Vincents for the high fives and drugs, my beautiful Sydney big sister Lana for cheuffering me several times a week to Concord and for driving up the super creepy driveway of the juvenile detention centre despite the KEEP OUT signs and children of the corn vibe. To Baby Jaime for the fashion laughter and tears, to Nurse Frank for picking off the dead skin in the places I couldn't reach, Nurse Megan for her inappropriate redneck racist comments and admiration of my fashion forward headwear, to the sort of cute Doctor with the tiny eyes for the sympathy flirty, and lastly to the 80's for making such amazing and flammable fashion, which without I would never have such a fabulous story to tell.

So lets all sit back, light a precariously positioned candle, have a champagne and pop a Pandine Forte, and enjoy the final scene from one of my all time favourite films Daft Punks Electroma. Oops did I just give away the ending?

Bradattude

My favourite man from Team Zoe, Brad (Joey needs to seriously die. Like literally die not "I die" die) has posed for super creepy photographer Terry Richardson and looks totally hot. Who'd have thought that underneath his fabulous blazer and bow ties would be such rock hard abs. Owe!!!

Song Of The Week

From the old winking man, to the Carerra's to the street jazz ballet. Hot Hot Hot

Er..

Fiddy ain't looking so great..

Seasonal Depression & The Pros of Canned Goods

Every year without fail, as soon as the weather cools down so do I. Towards life. And socialising. And hygiene and general self respect. I also start hating my life. My hair. My friends. My shoes. I'm a miserable wreck that doesn't want to leave the house until thongs are once again wearable. This year my annual hibernation has started early, Autumn and I feel my once booze fuelled wanna be glamour sun kissed fabulous Sydney life has turned into one long snacking tv session in bed. No wait, its doesn't feel like it, it has. Last weekend I spent 28 hours straight horizontal in bed, minus the 20 mins I ate a mexican themed meal at my local junkie favoured food emporium, 2.5 mins trying to get clearer reception whilst watching Customs and 1 trip downstairs to go the toilet. ONE TRIP. In 28 hours I urinated once and the only liquid I ate was the juice of melted sour cream and my own saliva. WTF?? Any way I digress. There is nothing witty or clever or cool I can offer you or anyone for that matter. Until winter is over, I've shed my skin and the snow has melted I am a boring waste of space. My top priority's right now are planning different meals to involve Stagg Chilli, downloading Rod Stewart albums, dissecting the lives and relationships of revolting MTV American reality stars like they are my real friends (ok so they sort of are) finding things to blow my nose on in my room, having sexy dreams about Ari Gold, planning Rachel Zoe's TayTay inspired outfits for events that don't exist and having anxiety attacks about what I'm going to watch once I've finished Modern Family. So lacklustre is my soul that I neglected my strict fake tanning regime. No one see's your tan in a dark room, but only the silver glint of an empty Dorito's bag and the warm glow of Window's Media Player. So friends, if you do decide to stick the next few months out with me I can't promise it will be interesting or inspiring. But I do promise whats hot in American Sitcom, 10 easy snacks using mayonnaise and frozen garlic bread and how to clean your sheets without washing them (pssst here's a hint, turn them inside out)

What will get me out of the slovenly mind-numbing funk I'm in? I'm hoping Series 7 of the Hills

You know you love me xoxo

NOT

UDI's - Unidentified Drunken Injuries
Waking up in your own bed wearing a t shirt you didn't know you had, a half eaten pie and both elbows Cadbury Purple and painful to move and no idea how or why ain't too cool

HOT

Drunk chicks

You know it. I certainly know it. LCD Soundsystem knows it. Life is better with drunk girls

The Worst Jeans in the World

To keep in theme with my new love/hate obession Jersey Shore, I give you possibley the worst jeans ever. If the super wide bootcut doesn't get you, the fake inbuilt thong will.

Denim hasn't taken such a savage beating since embellished jean leggings, or 'jeggings' were unleashed on the western suburbs of the world.

Monday Monster Mash...... Up

Yeah ok so mash ups are generally pretty shit I know but I really really love this mix of 99 Problems set to a big band beat from The Dap Kings. So does my mum.

"Did he just say hoe?"

" Mum as ifff! Would trombones and hoe's be in the same song together? hmm??"

Right click on the link below

Jay-Z_-_99_Problems_(feat_The_Dap_Kings)

Tada*s Revolution

Trying to put into words what exactly Tada's Revolution is tricky. Its a magical too cute world with dark humour, layered characters living life in modern times, served with a quick and punchy point. Don't let me ruin it just go enjoy it for yourself. It will be the best thing you see today. Besides Ronnie dancing on Jersey Shore but that's a whole other post.

http://tadasrevoluyion.com

Bloggin Ain't Easy

Due to popular demand from our fans, all five of you, we're back. And by we I mean me. As my non-practising life partner Mild Cat tours the world without a passport but a sensible and ugly pair of birkenstocks I shall carry the blogging flag.

In honour of being back online, and also Coco & Maria's love for Gaga and homemade video clips, I give you live from Afghanistan, The US army and Telephone

Update - We WILL Be Back

The Coco Maria dream team has been separated and are now countries apart. The Coco Maria blog will be on hiatus until our sweet sweet reunion one glorious day. Hopefully we wont keep you waiting too long. If you ever get sad waiting watch our tribute video made by a fan (me).

xxx Maria

I Present To You...

The Cape

After years and years of waiting the fabulous cape is allegedly one of THE hottest fashion items of 2010. It's like wearing a comfortable blanket that makes you look impressive, old-timey and cutting edge all at once. Way hotter than ugly cousin pashmina. Get involved!

Art

While I'm on the whole recycling trip, have a look at this polar bear from artist Joshua Allen Harris. This happy fellow (the bear) is made from recycled plastic bags and hovers over New York subway grates so he comes to life whenever a train passes by.

He is so CUTE!

Joshua says that his use of disposed shopping bags and wind as mediums "just seemed to fit — the subway system could inflate the unused bags giving them a new purpose and I could experiment with the wind... Some people have suggested that the polar bear is an icon of global warming and that the wind is an example of a renewable energy. When the bear is animated, he looks happy, and when the resource is gone, the bear slowly dies. I find this explanation encouraging"

Sweet

Mildy's Bubble & Squeak Burrito

Food wasting makes me sad. If it doesn't make you sad spend some time being really, really hungry. You'll change yo' tune.

Anyway, because I always have a mish mash of leftover crap in the fridge I've found great ways to repackage it. If you're not familliar with the term Bubble & Squeak it basically means throwing all the leftover food you have into a frypan and frying it up with some butter. Sounds good yeah?

For todays burrito I used:

Half a piece of lebanese bread (you could use burrito bread or just plain old toast)
Chicken schnitzel, cut into cubes
Steamed potato & pumpkin, sliced
San Choy Bow mince & rice (from 3 nights ago - I'll take my chances cos it's so delicious)
A few bits of ham
Mushrooms
Shallots
An egg

Fry all that junk up (minus bread) with w touch of butter if you're feeling nasty, adding whatever you have on hand that you think sounds tasty.

Wrap it up, toast it with cheese, squish it in a sandwich press, smother itwith BBQ sauce, whatever. It will be the BEST breakfast you've ever had, it didn't cost you money you hadn't already spent and you saved those lovely foods from going in the bin. Hooray!

Conspiracy

The world is riddled with it. If you care to become more involved (or more paranoid) perhaps check out WikiLeaks. It's a Sweden or Iceland (I assume no-one knows) based operation of some 800 or-so volunteers that work to anonymously publish leaked sensitive documents from Government and other organisations documents with (I believe) the intention of keeping them honest. It's too much for me (I'm more of a watch-the-grass-grow type) but you may be interested. It's definitely interesting.

Man murdered at Major Lazer show

A man was murdered outside a Major Lazer gig in Atlanta last week. Major Lazer being the truly shithouse side collaborative project of superstar producers Diplo and Switch. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports that two men got into an altercation outside the The Masquerade in Atlanta as the band(?) took the stage, leading in one of the men getting shot. I imagine it happened when the two were fighting to get out the door first after OD'ing on airhorns and dancehall. Sound effects will drive a man to the edge.

I think death would of been far more pleasant than enduring a two hour set of musical bullshit, so I think this can be filed under feelgood/human interest.

It's almost here...

Surry Hills Festival. Yeah! Crowds and overpriced wares mixed with music and plenty of booze. A recipe for greatness!

Please do check it out, if this year follows it's predecessors you'll find me watching the kids air guitar comp around 4:00pm, pissed as a lord. Get there early for the fabulous fancy dress dog comps. This Sat 10th April.

PLEASE NOTE: The festivus has moved this year due to Albert Park being renovated. So:

The 2010 festival will be creative, intimate and have a community picnic feel with the entertainment stages limited to two small parks - Ward Park (Devonshire Street) & Shannon Reserve (Crown Street), and possibly other satellite venues.

Crown Street will not be closed, so from what I can gather it's going to be a bit of a patchwork event. Anyway I can't really figure it out but head to the website for more deets! http://www.shnc.org/festival/index.htm

HOT

Competitive Wood Chopping. It's an amazingly manly and challenging competition without involving ridiculous concepts like guns or dead animals or beating up other people or working out your pecs in the mirror for hours on end.

Just man and his axe.

Sigh

Say It Ain't So

Jlo to star in a remake of the 1987 Goldie Hawn classic Overboard. Please. Lord. No.

God Goldie is fabulous..

Oh how my heart longs for you

Beast Rat leggings. Sass and bide. Heaven. Updating the popular ruched Black Rats with a snappy and very "now" metallic animal print. Is $200 + too much to spend on lycra? Can you really put a price on the freedom and comfort of an elasticated waistband??

HOT

Unemployment. I can't be sure, but I'm pretty confident I'm going to enjoy this. Down with 'the man', free love, equality and all that.

Hey.. Biggie Smalls IS the illest!

In the spirit of Danger Mouse's The Grey Album (p.s hated it) The Notorious xx is a full length mash up mixtape from Californian DJ Wait What mixing the chilled and vibey first album from The xx with the best of Biggie's rhymes. All signs are pointing to radness. I imagine that if Biggie were still alive today he'd smell a little bit of wee and Salt and Vinegar chips.. Download here - Only the last link works.

Would you eat KFC naked with Biggie?

Monday Morning

Enjoy

Tobacco - Maniac Meat

I've never picked a trend and I have shit taste in music. That said, I'm predicting Tobacco's new album 'Maniac Meat' is going to be huge. (Tobacco being Black Moth Super Rainbow frontman Tom Fec's side project). It's sadistic, disturbed, delayed electro and it drops in May. Beck will feature on two tracks making the deal even sweeter.

Check out the insanity of 'Sweatmother' below. It's been described as "what Satan would listen to while he's getting ready for the club". Nuff said.

Easter Haul

Happy Easter everyone! I've done well this year, not one but TWO Lindt Bunnys from a very handsome man, a box of lindor from mum and a south coast escape. Beats the cuff on the ear I get most years YEOW! What did you get? x

Get Yourself

To Surry Hills Markets! on today (Saturday)

I'll be there eatin up all the Gozleme

HOT

Posing

Boudism

If you're any kind of Sydney-sider you should know who Daniel Boud is by now. The reigning scenester king of Sydney photography has pretty much photographed every happening person/place/party imaginable since he started his website in 2003, and shows no signs of slowing. Featured above are some beautiful shots of Cairns band 'The Medics'. Glorious.

Check out Boud's site here

Bordello

I hadn't heard of Gogol Bordello when I got the call yesterday to interview lead singer Eugene Hutz at the Metro. This Gypsy band of rag tags have two things in common, a love of New York, and a love of Gypsy music. Eugene himself moved to America from the Ukraine when he was 25, and takes pride in the fact that no two members of his nine-or-so member band are from the same country.

I've never been so close to a real life played-with-Madonna rockstar. It was intense. He was intense. I asked Eugene what inspired him. The Sun, the Moon, Father Earth and Mother Ocean. Then I gave him an Easter egg. He was only moderately impressed.

I urge you to check them out. If you like to have a good time and a dance and to get messy and slightly Russian, this band is for you. Headlining Byron Bay Blues Fest