Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Books aren't always sexy


Shocking I know. I have recently come in to my worst run with bad books. I would always ALWAYS finish a book no matter how much i was hating it. But now as I get closer to the big 2 - 7 I've realised that life is too short to read a bad book. Which makes the stack of unreadable, boring, plotless paper backs beside my bed so depressing. Have I become to picky? Or better yet, too intelligent? There is nothing greater in the world than reading the most amazing life changing cry your heart out book. Did my constant slegding of The De Vinci Code jinx me? Is Dan Brown running the world and controlling our minds? So many questions. So any way. Here are the books I have started but can't finish due to general crapness:
Gods CallGirl - Carla Van Raay. An biography about a nun turned prostitute set in Melbourne. Oh with a drug habit. And habit* Sounds sexy and exciting right? Wrong. I was a third of the way in and not a nipple or crack pipe in sight. The bible has more action.

My Booky Wooky - Russell Brand. Ok so this sort of speaks for itself really. This is the kind of book people that listen to Nova and enjoy Two and Half Men would read. And think they are top shit for reading a book. I believe I only turned to this as it was the only book in the house I hadn't read and wanted to get away from Gods Call Girl.

On The Road - Jack Kerouc. Yeah yeah its a classic. Its also boring. And irrelvant.

The Famished Road - Ben Okri. Latest purchase from Chagni Airport. The Man Booker Prize sticker promised so much. Set in Africa the story follows a child that is from the spirit world. The story goes nowhere and the kid basically trips balls seeing all sorts of weird shit that isn't there. Either listen to Dark Side of The Moon in the dark. or drop some acid and get lost in a forest. Don't read this book. Gruelling. I finally put it down this morning. I'm done. I've had enough of blue men with upside faces drinking the moonlight and dogs with no mouths morphing into wells full of sand. Although i have to admit I did start on 'On The Road' again. And so the vicious cycle continues.

Mississippi Sissy - Kevin Sessums. Ok so i finished this, ONLY because I was on a remote island off the coast of Java and it was either read this or nothing. Contains sexy bottom themes. I choose those over my own thoughts and company. Grim.

*See I told you, too intelligent

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